No one escapes the dark night of the soul. Saint and sinner struggle through the emptiness, abandonment, and the panic of the void. Mother Teresa voices her angst to her spiritual confidant, the Rev. Michael van der Peet. She writes, “Jesus has a very special love for you,...[But] as for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great, that I look and do not see, — Listen and do not hear — the tongue moves [in prayer] but does not speak ... I want you to pray for me — that I let Him have [a] free hand."
Jesus predicted Mother Teresa's struggle just as He foretold our own haggling between doubt and belief, fear and fulfillment. As the disciples confidently faced their walk toward the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus announced a given, "All of you will have your faith shaken ...but after I have been raised up, I shall go before you to Galilee.
It's almost as if Jesus takes the pressure off his friends by acknowledging the inevitability of their doubt. And then promises to meet up with them in Galilee. It's profoundly comforting that Mother Teresa struggled with belief and that from the cross Jesus called forth his gut wrenching question: "Father, why have you abandoned me?"
If it’s good enough for Jesus, good enough for Mother Teresa then there must be good in faith that has the authenticity of doubt. Ultimately trust in a loving God who has our back, who moves in the details of our life and who rallies around us through our friends is a graced choice, much deeper than feeling. Savor the times of intimacy with Christ, don't be surprised by times of distance, and remember that the fingerprints of the Divine mark our joy and our heartache even if the evidence seems quite faint.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The Right Kind of Thief
Even for Jesus it must have come as a surprise – the most unexpected person in the most unexpected place “getting it,” witnessing and surrendering to His promise. One by one they fled as brutal condemnation and torture circled their leader and threatened to implicate them.
But the “good thief,” who didn’t travel with the Galilean, who didn’t have his belly fed with the other 5000, who didn’t watch moms and dads, brothers and sisters seeing, hearing, speaking for the first time, and who didn’t smell the stench of death give way to life – believed in the crucified Christ
The “good thief” brought solace to Jesus: he rebuked the cynic and loved Jesus into Paradise. Had the “good thief” ignored Jesus, gave up on himself, or lived his final moments absorbed in misery – total despair would have triumphed. The lesson is simple: keep the conversation going with the Lord, trust in His confidence in you and know someone needs a hand up today.
But the “good thief,” who didn’t travel with the Galilean, who didn’t have his belly fed with the other 5000, who didn’t watch moms and dads, brothers and sisters seeing, hearing, speaking for the first time, and who didn’t smell the stench of death give way to life – believed in the crucified Christ
The “good thief” brought solace to Jesus: he rebuked the cynic and loved Jesus into Paradise. Had the “good thief” ignored Jesus, gave up on himself, or lived his final moments absorbed in misery – total despair would have triumphed. The lesson is simple: keep the conversation going with the Lord, trust in His confidence in you and know someone needs a hand up today.
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